I switched most of my Dragonfrye News posts to this new more private blog which is VERY neat because now I do not have to lose all my posts but can still use the public blog for my quilt giveaway and eventually when I am feeling more secure switch this all back to my other blog.Right now,there is a feeling of freedom I have blogging to nobody really but myself.I was getting so caught up in how we appeared as a family.Well,maybe mostly how I appeared as a mom.Now I can boast or complain and it is completely OK!No worries of how I am representing God or homeshooling or the large family thing.
Anyway,here is today's scoop...Jeff left with Elena and Grant for Turtles in Rochester.It its the Jr. High E Free overnight event.The kids really do not do much with the Jr. High group at the church but this is a pretty exiting event because they get to go to Valley Fair tomorrow.It took a bit to get the money for it but the kids payed half and Jeff is going as a volunteer so the church is paying his way.Very nice.
The girls set up the tent yesterday in the yard to play house.Today Anya go her hair caught in the tent zipper but Cyrus rescued her.It was kind of funny.I have not heard of that happening before.Poor Anya looked a little frazzled.
I am haing a more difficult time understanding why God called us to adopt.In honesty I kind if wish we were back the way things were before when we just had our bio children.It is not that our Liberian children are difficult.I would say they are a little bit more mindful of me that some of our bio children.But it isn't the kids any of them that would make me wish for the old days.It is the amount of children that is hard.The loudness,mes,but mostly it is because there are too many for me to feel I can do a good job on much.everything I do has to be fast and quick because there is just so much to do.I feel like I can only do a semi ok job on anything.I'm ok until there is something I HAVE to get done.There is no room for HAVE TO'S .School is getting very difficult for me.I enjoy the kids being home and would chose for them to be but the schooling...I really hate it!I just do not know how to do it.
As long as I have the freedom to complain..I am very worried about money.I thought that if God was leading us to adopt he would also make sure things were taken care of.I do not mind living on the edge financially but we are beyond that now.We are so tight financially.We found out our mortgage is going up 15 dollars a month and our heat is going up 200$ (we do not have the extra 200 a month.We did not even have the 15 dollars extra for the mortgage! Our stove only has one working burner.We are running out of money for food.Gee,we will owe over $150 on AWANA fees come next month.We do not have $450 dollars to get our kids tested for school and are already a year behind on testing.We even do not have the $900 to pay the kid's court fees to officially adopt them.I am not asking God to give us a big huge sum of money just to take care of the things we need him to like we thought he would.I am thinking that he might not have wanted us to adopt and this is his judgement.It is all looking very scary.
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