I made it through my first long day with Jeff doing his second job.Now I do it again on Monday night.Jeff is schuedlued to work Monday and Friday nights and maybe he will be able to pick up a few extra shifts durring the week.It will sure be busy around here for the next few months but in the end it will be worth it.It is nice to know that I have a hard working husband who will do what needs to be done to take care of the family. It is interesting because if we had not adopted the 6 children we would have been rather comfortable money wise.
I think it could be easy for Jeff to look back and say how unfair it is that we walked down the path we thought God was leading us by adopting the children and now here he has to get another job.He could even question as to whether we heard God right in the first place.I have questioned this all a zillion times.I think most husbands fear the thought of ever being in a situation like we are in right now and because of those fears chose not to do what we did.I remember being afraid of this happening to us and it did and it really isn't so bad (at the moment at least).Anyway, I'm very proud of Jeff.He followed God and is still willing to do what it takes to follow God.
The one neat thing about all of this (the financial and large family thing)is that I am finding that God's boundries for my life are much different,smaller,more secure,more defined, but yet more liberating than I ever thought they were.I think what I was doing was thinking the boundries I had made as the ones God has made for me.
God has been stripping back so many areas in my life until I am begining to see more clearly what his boundries really are for me right now.It is very easy for me to get confused between different issues that I hear others talking about.I remember getting worked up over things like what foods are the best to feed the family,or what toys are the best,or how we should dress,or even schooling issues,Teen group or no teen group,tv or no tv etc...The struggles all stem from wanting to do what pleases God,I just want to do things right.
Well,the more children we added and the more money decreased I found a very freeing thing...the boundries I thought God set fell away and I started to see God's true boundries for our family.We are really at God's grace in his provision for our daily bread...if white bread and caned vegies end up on our door step we eat it,if all we get is a bag of three day old donuts we heat them up and eat them.We could trust God for something more nutricious but maybe we would be like the Israelites looking back to their days in Egypt wishing for what they once had.It is not the food but the blessing we ask God to put on the food that matters.
How about modist dress...well these days most of our clothes are hand me downs and quite a lot are not real modist and classic looking.We wear them anyway.God provided them.Today the kids were sent to church unmatching.It is a big huge thing for me.I love them matching.No more.We wear what God gives us.
I have given up SO many precious school books.I would say over the years I have spent thousands and thousands of dollars on school stuff.No joke.Now it is simple workbooks because although I would love my children to graduate early from school and learn violin,latin etc...they really won't.We have a few hours a day to do school and that is it.And what a shame to see a book I payed 20.00 on be bought almost new for 5.00. Why did I waste so much on school stuff.
It goes on and on...I thought all thses years I was looking for what pleased God but really I was not listening to God I wanted to look like a good christian for my own pride.
No comments:
Post a Comment