I came to the conclusion that parenting is hard...really hard! I am sure those of you who are already parents are pretty shocked by the news...sorry to burst your bubble! I have narrowed down the things I think are the very hardest for me but I think my 'Number One' changes with each day.
Today I would say the very hardest thing about parenting are all those moment by moment judgement calls that come up.In my house there is rarely a moment when I do not have to make a decision on the fly.I make it...Mom decided.That is it.Final.The End... but little do the kids know on the inside I am shaking in my boots hoping the decision was right,fair,consistent,and all those other good parenting type words.Not one that would damage the child(ren) for life.It would be nice if there was some sort of computer program that I could use to punch in the problem or better yet the program would hear the problem as it is taking place and quick as a flash the perfect solution would come out.
Want to know today's issue...the main one anyway? The kids start getting ready for their Wednesday night AWANA on Tuesday.Rule..Each child is responsible to put ALL their own clothes,socks,shoes,books,etc out Tuesday ready to go for Wednesday.That means 11 piles lined up on our fireplace stone hearth.Fine and dandy.I do not like surprises like "mom ,I can not find any socks,or my AWANA vest is lost".I on the outside do not show much mercy.So when two children announced that they 'lost' their winter jackets five minutes before they were supposed to leave they stayed home and are as I write lying on their beds until everyone else is home.
On the outside I am unmovable but on the inside I feel SO bad...thoughts like maybe I should have let them go but endure the freezing weather without a jacket.Maybe I should have shown mercy and helped them look for their jackets.Maybe they will hate me forever.I bet their Liberian moms would have did this the right way.Maybe I should personally check all eleven piles to make sure everything is accounted for or at least verbally remind them. "Do you have this and this...double check and make sure.You do not want to miss AWANA".Isn't that what a loving mom would do and isn't it most important that they learn all they can about God by making it to church? See if Jeff was home he would have done something nice like bundle the children who lost their jackets in blankets or hunt for the mising items himself.Yes,he would have been extremely irritated just like I was but no one would have to miss AWANA.
Oh...this same type of thing comes up in different situations throughout each day.I pray a lot for God's wisdom but also ask for God to strengthen my feeble arms and weak knees so that I could run with perseverance the race marked out for me or in this case do my mom job the best I can. A mix of a few verses in Hebrews 12:1-13 Tina version but I think you get what I am trying to write.
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