Hmm...This is what 40 feels like

I'm not so sure I like it.I am told by many that they rather like the 40's decade of their life.That their 20' or 30's met them with a some uncertainty and and a lot of energy spent trying to figure out who they really were.I also heard that the 40's are the new 30's.I am thinking it is just rather scary.

I remember my mom turning 40.I was 18 and starting my first year at the U of M.I do not even remember calling her to wish er Happy Birthday.I think she just slipped into her 40's with out much hub bub.My dad did as well.I believe I was in 11th grade when my dad turned 40.I do remember that was the start of his Juvenile Diabetes catching up to him at an extreme pace...in those next few years he would remind me he was living life through me so to do as much as I can.Well,I took the following God route which probably was not the most exiting life for him to live through but God used it to help lead him to the Lord. Anyway,I think if I knew back then how I feel about it now I would have payed attention.

Jeff does not mind at all being in his 40's and gets rather bothered by my doom and gloom outlook.I am continually asking statistical questions (good thing he is a statistician) of things like what are the odds of something bad happening because we are so much older... (see I'm not at all a Proverb's 31 Woman.There is no laughing at things to come in my mind!)Of course, statistics are not swayed by worry wort mom's like me and the numbers do not always feed into my cloudy perspective.
But what can I do 40 is 40.There is nothing I can do about it but still it was supposed to look different than it does.

OK, now comes out the photo album!A reminiscing brooding mood needs pictures to reflects just how much time has passed!


This first one is my baby baptism.I'm the baby on my mom's lap ( a young 22 year old she was) then my two older sisters Heidi and Tammy.Then my godparents Aunti Sandy and Uncle Gene and my three cousins.We are all on our living room couch.


I must be contemplating live all alone on the couch much like I am now.I looked rather humored by some passing thought.


Lily looks a tad like me in this baby picture or it could be just the overall goofy baby smile



My first birthday with my sisters Heidi and Tammy



Just to show I was not as goofy looking as I grew!I loved my little Sheep stuffty guy.It had a zipper that I could store my pjs in.Pretty cool!



Well,sorry no picture of me 40 years later.Just imagine a 5'3" 140+ pound overweight mom who carried/birthed 8 children and has hips like well that are just big,a bad hair cut I gave myself (never give yourself a hair cut when you are having a bad day),grey at the temples,sun damage from all the tanning beds I visited in my 20s and 30s and a sour attitude.If you can picture all that you successfully pictured me today.