Here is something I have been thinking about the last few days...
Life can get very intense here.
You figure there are 17 of us interacting with each other every day and that makes for a lot of relationship combinations going on. If I was better at math I could figure it out but I would say hundreds and hundreds of combos. Maybe even thousands?
There is not a day that goes by that there is not at least one major conflict. Honestly, there is usually more than just one or two at one time. The conflict participants and situations vary but the conflict is just as unsettling.
When I feel things heating up between sibling I start to feel real queasy. Sometimes the conflicts work themselves out but a lot of the time I need to step in at one point or another. My fight or flight reaction sets in. My insides feel like running away but I tend instead to charge forward while blowing my battle horn.
Most of the time I need to make fast spot calls based on what info I can quickly glean from the he said/she said talk. In a large family like ours, I do not usually have the luxury of patiently listening to the two sides and going off to pray asking God privately for wisdom then going back to said children with my official well informed mom judgement. I wish I did but life here moves at record speed. There are days that half or more of the kids are set to their beds for one thing or another.
And even worse than the conflict is the after math of me being on one or numerous children's 'hate lists' for the day. The kids might not know, but my knees buckle very fast it is only the Lord and my stubbornness that hold me up in conflict.
Blah. I feel like I miss the mark most of the time. Have you ever sat down and thought of the craziness that God calls us parents to parent and teach and make judgment calls while here we are with our own set of sins that so easily trip us up. I think it is pretty crazy,anyway. If my kids grow up to be the way I hope, it will be despite me not because of my great parenting skills. I am SO glad God is faithful.
Anyway, I read this set of verses the other day and it gave me some focus.
...the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul...Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt.
1 Samuel 18: 1,3-4
Isn't it good?
How it ties in to my conflict ramble is that this is a desperate cry from deep in my heart. I want God to develop in me such a deep soul binding love for my family that I will do whatever God needs me to do so God can fulfill his purpose in my family's lives. Just like Johnathan did for David in stepping aside so God can fulfill His plan for David, I want God to strip me of all that is not Christ like for the sake of my family. Of course, that is a lifetime process but God can teach me how to deal better in conflict, how to parent wisely despite my emotional flesh. He can give me courage to face the numerous 'hate lists' my name reaches #1 on. God can give me joy and peace when life here gets crazy (in a not so good crazy way).
Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. “Make level paths for your feet,”so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.
Heb 12:12-13
So there is what has been on my mind these last few days.
Now back to the fluff of my blog post...
My newest project.
I just have to put an outside border on.
I am thinking of using this pink polka-dot fabric for the border.
Here is a stuffed doll to match. Well, I still have to actually stuff it.
Just in case you are curious, here is the book...
that I used for the doll pattern and that inspired the quilt.
Warmly, A Dragonfrye Mommy
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