I sure have been struggling these past few weeks.
I suppose it has shown in my lack of daily posts.
I guess I have been thinking what is the use.
You other bloggers out there, do you ever go through times when you feel that way?
I have been feeling like I am walking on an emotional balance beam.
This week our neighbor scolded one of my boys about how he should help Jeff cut the lawn. I was SO made at her! She must have been the one who called the city and reported out long lawn. She has not been a very kind neighbor to us these past years. Anyway, her reasoning for scolding our son was that Jeff works so hard and gets home so late from work and then gets up so early and does not get much sleep.
How, I wonder, does she know enough about our lives (I guess mostly Jeff's) to draw conclusions that are so inaccurate about us? This is not the first encounter we have had with her.
Ok, Jeff
does work hard and probably does not get the sleep he would like but who really always does? But, Jeff does not get home late. Maybe between 6:30 and 7:30 pm. That is not late. He might leave for work around 8 am. We are night owls so the kids and I are up later. Jeff does run to the store early in the morning to get bread,milk, and other miscellaneous things we need.
Another thing is that the boys
did help cut the lawn last year.Why was she not peeking out her window those times? It just so happened that our lawn mower broke down last fall and Jeff had been holding off on buying another one until he could find a used one at a good price. Jeff was not in a hurry to cut the lawn. He is so laid back. Anyway, the boys could not cut the lawn so far this year because of the lawn mower issue. Besides, Jeff does enjoy the exercise he gets mowing the lawn himself.
Does the neighbor know our boys and the rest of our kids do other chores that take up at least an hour and a half of their day every day? Laundry, floor mopping, toilets, dishes (no dishwasher here),etc... There is a lot of everyday mess that comes with a large family. We do not have a snow blower so our kids were the ones out shoveling every day. Jeff did not do much shoveling at all this winter. So,it is so frustrating that she would pass judgment like that.
I felt like such a looser. Why do people do stuff like that?
*Sigh*
That gets me to thinking..how responsible are we for someone else's perception of us? I do tend to worry being a larger family that our noise level, kids bickering (sometimes very loud), etc... that someone would walk by our home and misinterpret what is going on.
I once had a mail lady break up a fight between two of my children when in fact the two children were not fighting at all. They were teasing each other. I think that this mail lady assumed they were fighting because it was my Liberian boy and one of his younger sisters.
Why do others think they know how to parent my children better than Jeff and I do?
Maybe others do know more than we do? You know it is easy to put blinders on when it comes to our and our own children's weaknesses sometimes.
Such a bummer I am this last few weeks.
We have had some set backs on the adoption front as well. We were hoping the children would be here by now but maybe it will be much longer than we thought. I think everyone is waiting on us to get things done on our part. Others who we know who have adopted through disruptions seem to have had things moving forward so much faster than us.
A Young man passed away from our church this past weekend that has really made me sad. He was only twenty eight. He taught Sunday school to some of my children. Jeff taught AWANA with his dad. This young man was just so nice. The funeral was today. We could not go but Jeff took some of the kids to the visitation last night.
This afternoon a friend dropped off four pans of bars for us that were left-over from the funeral. The young man's mom thought of us and wanted us to enjoy them. What is the proper way in receiving something like that?
We were so grateful (always are for any food) and almost all four pans are eaten already. The thing was I communicated like a total idiot when she dropped off the goodies. Afterwards, Elena suggested that maybe I should pre-write what I should say to people in various situations and memorize them so I do not sound like a bumbling idiot.(The bumbling idiot description was my choice of words not Elena's. She was much kinder)
I remember when my great grandma Davis passed away. Each of us grandchildren were given $300 dollars. That was very kind of my great grandmother to do that. I was in college at the time. When I talked to my grandmother about the money I had referred to it at a
blessing, which it was because like I said I was a starving college student. I was firmly reminded that my great grandmother had
died to get me that money. See, I have no social graces at all.
And I have been eating and eating! I am already overweight and now even more so!
Blah, blah, blah!!!
Ok, I'm done now.
This is totally a terrible post!!!
But then again, such is life sometimes.
Some prettiness amongst my ickiness!
Jeff brought me home these real pretty flowers this past Monday.
I thought they looked real pretty on the front porch.
Warmly,A Patchwork Mommy
