Trusting the GPS?

  My apologies for such a cryptic post the other day. I had been struggling with letting go of something I had been holding deep in my heart for a few years. I had thought I was being diligent in guarding my heart, but I was not. It can be so easy to veer off of life's course without even realizing, isn't it? The real truth is, I knew I was heading in the wrong direction for a while, I just did not want to turn back. The only thing waiting for me if I turned back was real life. Real life...well...really sucks sometimes.

 

My 20 year old son went on a solo road trip from here in Minnesota to Galveston, Texas last week. He said that this was a first step to traveling the world. He has already gone to Ghana, Africa two times and Milan, Italy once in his short life. They were mission trips. Pretty cool. His desire is to be ready to go wherever God calls him to in the future. He is training himself to be ready. I love his faith. This solo road trip was the first in a series of training adventures he is planning, I believe. On this trip, he somehow set his GPS wrong and according to the GPS he had hours and hours of driving time until he would arrive at his destination. He did not think that seemed right, although he trusted the GPS. He was very tired and discouraged but once he realized his GPS mistake he was able to alter his course and continue on with hope because he was hours closer to his destination than he thought. 

 

Could God have given me a more timely visual aid? 

 

I was humbled by my son's faith and eagerness to be all there for God. 

 

Also, I heard what God was telling me. I was way off course.    

 

Sometimes, real life just seems like a lonely, muddy, mucky, smelly swamp that is almost impossible, and therefore seemingly pointless to move forward through. Move forward in real life...very, very hard. I do not have the sigh of relief that my son had after he fixed his GPS. I am sad. I feel pretty hollow and empty today.  It will all be ok, though. It will take time to untangle my emotional mess. Doing right by letting go and following the Lord, handing my heart, my dreams, my desires all back to him. It will be ok.

 

Warmly, Me

P.S. The quote might not seem fitting for today's post, but it is. I think so, anyway. Letting go can be very hard and very painful, but it also makes us alive. We are not shadows, or faint whispers blowing around in the wind. Just as we feel both the hot sun and cold snow on our face, it is the same with heartbreak and joy, right? Today, I feel deep lonely, empty heartbreak and I will wait for the day I feel joy or at least better than I do now. I am pretty sure it should be around at some point.